Yesterday, I felt a little under-ambitious and decided maybe starting this blog was a bad idea because, surprise surprise, THINKING OF TOPICS TO POST ABOUT IS REALLY HARD.
But the live version of John Mayer's Who Did You Think I Was just came on shuffle and it, for whatever reason, makes me feel really bad-ass and all true bad-asses keep up with their blogs.
By the end of this week, I will have been an official college student for exactly one month. Don't ask me how that happened because I honestly don't know. My first official paper is due on Friday, and I have my first College Test (Spanish) on Friday. I have actual friends who like the same dumb things I like, and we actually have significant inside jokes and nicknames for each other. I'm already sick of the food, and I'm feeling the pangs of being a Broke College Student.
Sometimes, it feels sort of wrong. Who decided that I get to be an adult and manage my own finances and my own schedule and who decided that I should live in a strange new institution and meet new people and start a life with them? Some of the time I feel very much un-adult-like, considering the fact that listening to live versions of John Mayer songs alone in my dorm room while I'm not wearing any pants makes me feel bad-ass. Baby steps, right?
When I was a freshman in high school, I was certain I would never be ready for college. Absolutely certain. Kind of like how certain I was after my mom finished giving me the sex talk during a re-run of Seinfeld that I would never, ever want to have sex ever in my entire life. But, what do you know? People grow up and go to college and, somewhere along the line, sex becomes more appealing.
Some of the time I feel very much like a proper adult, even when (from time to time) I get the occasional song from my favorite childhood cassette tape about sea-creatures lodged inside my head. But that's another blog post entirely. I manage my time quite well, I can make Important phone calls and send Important e-mails, I can speak intelligently with my professors, I can do my laundry and write a check and manage my bank account and I can figure out what I'm feeling most of the time and I can cook fairly decently. I can write lists and create calendars on my Very Adult iPad and my clothes match and I can make my bed, whether I choose to or not. The point is I can make it.
Majority of the time I am walking somewhere in some weird limbo where I sing songs about sea creatures while balancing my checkbook, I manage to get emotional about Harry Potter about five times a day, and I'm not entirely sure how to go on a date.
My age still contains the word "teen" but legally, I'm an adult. A free-thinking and free-wheeling adult, responsible for all kinds of things that until a few months ago I probably didn't even know existed.
... Neat?
-Hannah
P.S. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfLkO3uwBlQ
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